My Journey, My Voice, My choice!

My life, issues, thoughts and voice

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Weird

I just had the WEIRDEST experience ever!

I got home at about 6:30-ish, I went shopping for stuff for Alana’s birthday, finally met Brigit (spelling?) but that’s not the point!

Well, honestly I am totally unsure how to explain this, but, have you ever kinda been thinking something (as in, I care about this night coz of…) and then just realized that it’s not worth it? I dunno how to explain it, but I realized tonight that my ‘priorities’ are out of order? I dunno, James told me a while back to “stop running from my issues” n I kinda got mad at him saying that I wasn’t running, but… I dunno, can we be running without even realizing? Maybe subconsciously I was running, but using the running metaphor, I feel like I was running, I don’t know what from, I didn’t even realise I was running, and suddenly I tripped and fell flat on my face!

I guess, im unsure whether that’s a good thing, because now I know that I was running, I guess now I can turn and face them… I dunno if I want to, im so lost! But, then is it a bad thing in that I have just fallen and not even realised I was running? That’s kinda scary!

Hmm… yeah really confused, I asked in a previous blog whether we could wear a mask without realising it, I dunno, now I guess im asking, can we be running and not realise it until we trip? If not then can someone explain to me what has just happened?

So totally lost right now, its not like I don’t know to do, its just like I don’t know what happened, I woke up this morning thinking it was Tuesday, I even got books for Tuesday, I feel like I have lost a day, is that possible? I dunno… just dazed, I have had like a constant headache for the last 2 days, since Monday night… anys…

Explanation is NEEDED.. this is a situation where a clear answer is required, no extra question I the answer… see I knew a situation would come up!

2 Comments:

At 30 August, 2006, Blogger charlotte said...

Umm I think it probably is possible to run from something without realising it. Just like it's so possible to distance yourself from God until you get a huge shove back into the reality that you're messed up...and anything like that. As for answers, I don't have any...but I do know the one who does, I'm pretty sure that you do to...so turn your eyes upon him and just ask.

 
At 01 September, 2006, Blogger james said...

i definately think we run from stuff without knowing it. i mean pyschatrists (or is it psychologists? hmmmm BOTH) make big money analysing peoples behavior and thinking patterns etc

so there is some underlying stuff we dont know about.I think alot of the time its subconcious and the way to deal with it is to bring it up and try and conquer it...

e.g fear of flying- you go flying to try and get rid of this fear... you're saying to the 'flying fear' that 'you have no control of me' and you do it anyway and somehow you can be freed from this fear...

so maybe the question is 'what do u need to do to say to your fears 'you have no power over me?''

 

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