My Journey, My Voice, My choice!

My life, issues, thoughts and voice

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Gods Plan

Okay I am sitting in English, & we start talking about “what it is to be a man?” can they cry? Do they have to be tough? Random I know but we are studying Macbeth (The WORST Shakespeare ever) Anys, We were talking about that and so I kinda zoned out, well not zoned out but put my music on, & thought... I dunno...

I thought about my life, about the point of my life, what is gods plan for me? Does he have one?

Well, I can’t deny that god has a plan, I cant! Although I can deny that I am clueless about it, I do not know why I am here, what is my point? What am I supposed to do? One small person? I see other people on earth, they know their basic plan, part of that plan, in their eyes and mine is to help me. (That sounded up myself), I don’t mean that their only reason is to help me, but in a sense... oh I dunno how to explain it! I’m not being up myself tho!

Anys, as I was thinking, something that I have spoken to people about before came up; I think Mel and Alana have heard me ramble on about this before...

BUT... As I see it, god has brought me through a few *near death* experiences, both physically and emotionally, and well I guess my question is: WHY? Why am I on earth? Why did god want me here? He must have a reason or I wouldn’t still be here, the only problem is... I can’t see it, and as I said to Mel, and Nomes, I HATE SUPRISES! With a vengeance, I just want to know - NOW!

Well Saz told me that she only found out recently, and she is 19 (I think...) does that mean I have three years longer, possibly more? Will I ever know what gods plan is for me?

Okay, one more thing, kinda straying from the point, not too far tho...

Well, about a week ago, it was like 12:00am, and I was talking to Saz, through messages, I don’t remember what I said, but she said that as she was typing a message to me, she saw god, right there, with me!

Well... it sounds depressing, but... My answer to that was:
“What use is that? You can see God in my life, but I can’t! What the?” Maybe not word for word, but that’s the gist of it.

So yeah...again, I have no idea where I am leading with this, juts rambling on, I guess I am still just so darn confused, overwhelmed, uncertain, dazed, lost, I dunno what you’d call it... But that’s how scrambled my mind is, I cant think straight anymore!

Ow well... What do you think?
Do you know gods plan for you? If so...how & when did u find out?

5 Comments:

At 22 August, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Talia Jayde,
I came across your blog today by chance. Or not. God is funny that way. I've only read this posting and I feel the desparation in your words. You're doing a great job in your search and you're justified in your passionate desire to know your place. You will figure it out. Not everyone knows they've figured it out (some are stubborn and sometimes things get in the way of seeing clearly) but everyone does eventually. God will always be with you and will help you. It may be time to let be and live in the moment; your answers will come to you when you least expect it-when your soul and mind are peaceful. Have faith. Good luck and God Bless.
-26 in BC, Canada

 
At 22 August, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey girl,
how weird is it that God only tells us what we need to know at the time.lol. anyway i know that when u are ready he will tell u and i know u hear that all the time but just say he told u now what u would be like in 10 years time...you may not be in the right mind set to know...if that makes sense. anyway see u sunday

 
At 22 August, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh by the way that was from ME Saz anyway how weird lol

 
At 22 August, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey talz!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with the questions u are asking.In fact it shows a healthy relationship with God that you want more etc...

i didnt know what to do with my life for ages, i was probably 18 before i had some idea...

The Bible is great because it tells ALOT of stories that speak about young people doing huge things.There is no age limit on knowing Gods plan!

One of the things that we need to remember is that God has u where u r now for a reason.Gods plan for us isnt just a future one,its a now one too.

dont get too busy with the future that u forget about the now plans and purposes God has for u!

James

 
At 23 August, 2006, Blogger charlotte said...

Wow girl, you got some great comments on that one. But can I tell you that I know EXACTLY how you feel, and I'm pretty sure that you probably know that.

Being in year 12 it's like, 'Figure out your future, now!' almost 24/7 and it's so annoying and frustrating, so confusing and causes me to stress out to the max! I don't know what God's plan for me is!

But I think the fact of the matter is what many of those commented have already said. It's just ONE step at a time, think about today and maybe tomorrow, THEN next week and so on.

"Picture this: You're driving on a country road on a moonless night. Your headlights brighten the road ONE HUNDRED feet in front of you. But you're driving fast enough that even if you slammed on the brakes it would take TWO HUNDRED feet to stop. You can't see far ahead as you need to. You probably know that's called "overdriving your headlights." It's scary. YOu're cheesespread if a deer leaps in front of you or a curve comes up fast.

You probably want to drive your life with your foot to the floor. To push foward. For God to tell you exactly what your future holds and to get there fast.

But driving faster than God chooses to give you guidance is like plunging stupidly into the darkness.

Slow down. You won't ever waste your life if you live it God's way, at God's pace."
- "Where Ya Guna Go?" by Kevin JOhnson

 

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