Why?
Why? Why is it me who is suffering so bad? Who's suffering so much pain? Did i do something wrong to deserve this? If so, can someone let me know, because i am willing to do ANYTHING to get rid of this blasted curse! I'm tired of everything sucking so bad!
Everyone is telling me that i'll overcome this, its not forever, it'll pass...but do they really know what there is to overcome? Can they really see whats going on in my broke, chewed up and stomped on heart? can they actually comprehend just how bad i really feel? I dunno...
I guess i;m just tired of having to fight so hard to be happy, iwish it were just that little bit easier to smile (and mean it!) I'm tired of frowning and i am SOOO over tears but is there really another way out??
Is there?
1 Comments:
I may never know how bad you feel, i may never see whats going on inside you. I may never understand how chewed up and stomped on you may feel.
I heard an analogy the other day, i dunno if you've heard it or not, but here it is...
how much is $20 worth? $20
what if i screw it up and crinkle it? $20
what if i stomp it into the mud? $20
what if i throw it into the rubbish or into a mannure pile? its still worth $20
Why is it worth $20? because someone of a higher authority (the government) said thats what that piece of plastic is worth. It doesnt matter what happens to it, so long as it remains in 1 piece its worth $20.
Thats exactly the same with us. God has said we are worth more than the whole world to him. It doesnt matter how chewed up or stomped on our lives may be. God has demonstrated to us how much we are worth.
Suffering and pain, is a tough question. I'll have a go at answering, not because i'm right but because as humans we all have to face suffering of some description.
I'm not going to tell you that you'll get over it because the truth of the matter is that while you're on this earth you are always going to have touble, trials, pain, suffereing etc. Thats part of life and Jesus even says that in John 16:33, 'in this world you will have trouble, but take heart! I have overcome the world!'
Everyone on this earth suffers, God never designed it that way, its a result of sin. This earth has been cursed and all that is in it. That is why Jesus came to give us a hope, not just to perform miracles but to take on the ultimate of suffering. The sin of the world! You wanna talk about a burden to carry, they dont come worse than that! everything that has caused all this suffering that you're going through. Thats not saying that all your suffering has come directly from your sinfullness, but every person is a sinner and therefore is a part of the curse.
In my own experience, i have seen God take my hand as i went through 2 long dark years of depression, being on the verge of suicide. I've also struggled to come to grips with a physical/mental illness and all its implications. i'm through those dark days now, though while i still have the illness now, i can see how God has held my hand the whole way through. of course i never really saw it while it all happened. but i can look back and see now, and can say that He is faithful. and if you want Him to, He will help you through your problems as well, no matter how dark the road. Let Him be your closest companion along the road cos he knows you the best and he knows suffering the best too. He understands it all! And to top it off He wants to be close to you.
I know this is kinda long...I dunno if this is even helpful at all....
But when you're finding it hard to put a smile on (even if it doesnt reflect the inside). when your tears feel empty and only a tempory way out at that...
Remember the $20 note, and remember how much you mean to Jesus, and remember what he's done to prove that. remember that suffering isnt forever, when Jesus comes to take us home, he promises to leave all the bad behind. remember the reason he died was so that you could be close to Him again.
God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains. - C.S. Lewis
If you look at suffering and pain this way, you'll see that God uses even this stuff (even though he doesnt like it and never intended it on us) He uses this bad stuff to draw us back to him and help us rely more on Him...and thats a good thing =)
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