Something i wrote

Something i wrote early this morning, not sure but i think that it is very true to my emotions at the moment, its not sugar coated, its not exaggerated, its just honest...

"Heal a broken heart"
My path is so unclear
What does my future hold?
Should I give into fear?
Or should I stand strong and bold?

I’ve prayed a thousand times
Yet no response I hear
Sometimes I sit and wonder
Is god even here?

I wish I knew what to do
With this life I live
Just a tiny clue
Of what I have left to give!

I’m about to let go
Leave it all behind
Everything I know
Any peace of mind

I’m scared of what’s to come
What I’ll have to face
If im gonna run
Or give up on this race

I’m praying for a light
To shine right through the dark
To help me fight this fight
To heal my broken heart

Quote

"sometimes the test of courage is not to die... but to live?"

Just a quote i found...
Nothing else to say!

Random thoughts

Ever just felt like you didnt belong?
Anywhere?
Lik eyou've tried so hard to fit in, not popularity wise but.... ah i dunno how to say it?

Well, im terrified... im about to start a new school, i have started a new church n i feel like its a whole new life...
Am i ready to live that life?

When i say belong, i mean loved... like, to feel wanted by those who surround you, to feel like if you left you would be missed...?
I know that God loves me, i know that i can never change that, there is nothing i can do or say that will change that, yet still... i feel so tested, as though im walking on VERY thin ice, does that make any sense? It did in my head!

Blessings

"So often we ask god to bless what we are doing...perhaps, we should be doing what god is blessing???"
A quote from ringwood Salvo's this morning-(my official new church-how exciting!).

So, what exactly do we mean when we ask god to bless something or someone? I mean... We arent just asking him something small, his blessings are HUGE, so is it just a formality now? Is a blessing just something to say or something to fill in a silence during prayer? Do we truely want god to bless us, or are we just following a simple formality that we have grown so accustomed to?
That scares me... honeslty i dont usually pray for a blessing, more guidance or a sign, but there are occasions when i ask god to bless me, those around me or a specific event. I know that when i ask god to bless something, i beleive that he will, i trust that his love will touch those around me, nd myself.

But... to ask for blessing we have to know what a blessing is right?
Well the dictionary says that a blessing is:
"To request of God the bestowal of divine favor on someone or something"
I'm not sure that i would use the word 'favor' but... i quite like that definition... what do you think?

I'm not really sure what i had to say about blessings, its kinda slipped out of my brain, but even still... what do you think about blessings and the question of whether or not some use these words as a fill in or just say them as a formality...?
Hmmmm

Just quickly, at the moment i am facing a few decisions, life changing ones, and honestly i am not to sure what to do... I have been praying for quite some time that a clear path would be shown... hasnt been shown, or if it has i am too blind to see it, so if possible could you please just pray...

Saying good-bye

Saying good-bye is the hardest thing to do, even when you know its for the best, i have had to do that three times lately, and even though i know its for the best it also cuts so deep. Firstly i said good-bye to greensy salvo's when i moved away, then to Liam and Melissa when they left and today, the hardest thing i have EVER had to do, i said good-bye to my nan. She dies 2 days after christmas, and today she was burried, i guarentee you i will never ever forget her coffin being lowered into the hole...

I know that saying bye to all these people is the best thing, i mean i moved because i had a house and family in Wantirna, Liam and Melissa left to do great work for god in footscray, and my nan, while it kills me to say it, she is better off now, she is no longer in pain and she is reunited with her husband and will spend eternity with her lord and saviour, but... why do i always have 2 say goodbye?